Isn't it enough that you already messed up my life?!

You have already lost the right to control me. When you made that fucked up decision, you lost all your respect from me.

Don't think you know what I go through. You are not even close to knowing. So don't think about understanding. Yes I am more capable now. That does not make me a snob. I don't become a snob because of my actions. I become a snob because I detest YOUR actions, YOUR reactions.

I keep my mouth shut to save some dignity for all of us. Don't assume you win. You never will. Not with that loser mindset. I hate to say this. It makes me an ungrateful brat but enough is enough. I have my own things to do. I need my own time to manage my stuff.

You think all I do in front of the computer is play? You think all I do outside is have fun and hangout with people? So apparently sleeping is not allowed at home. Eating is not allowed at home. Playing is not allowed at home.

If a home does not provide rest. Does not provide food. Does not provide shelter. Then what sort of a home is that?

Why do you think I need to work so hard? I worry. I care. I may not show it. You know I do. So why mess around with me when you know I'm already tensed as it is. I'm trying to fix my own life, while trying to fix yours. Are you even trying to understand mine? Don't assume you already do. You don't. Society was not what it was when you were kids. Heck, you may not even recognize society by the time I have my own kids. The change is so radical you won't be able to keep up. So don't assume you know. You don't. Things are operating at a whole other level. Don't flatter yourself. You have not been through what I have been through.

I am now someone that can't even chase his dreams.

Chains of commitment tying me down. Wearing me out.

I have said long ago, I want out.

What I have experienced, I wish I wasn't a part of it.

It may have made me who I am today.

But that was one hell of a tough road to walk. I did not choose that road. I was forced on to it.

Time will come when I choose my split roads again. I have no idea which road I may pick. It will be my choice and my choice alone.

I let too many people in on too many of my decisions. It's high time I did things my way. It may not be easy. But at least it is mine.

I'm a selfish bastard.